Interconnectedness?

I am very confused... I read the passage in 2 Sam. 22 where God gets angry at Israel and "incited David against them"... so David takes a census, which is apparently a bad thing because he became conscience-stricken and says to God "I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, LORD, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing." So God gives him three options and he chooses to "fall into the hands of the LORD, for His mercy is great; but do not let me fall into human hands" so it sounds like either famine or plague and God allows the plague (because it is shorter in duration I wonder?)... so God lets the plague ravage everyone until it reaches Jerusalem and then stops it... and David is offering the sacrifice and the LORD answers his prayer on behalf of the land... but the timing is weird... God stops the angel before we hear about David offering the sacrifice... this "dance" between God's feelings, David's responses and the decisions about what will come "next" seems confusing to me... God was angry, He incites David, David reacts, he repents, God offers choices of consequences, David offers the decision back to God, God acts and then limits the destruction, David offers sacrifice and prayer and God answers his prayer... back and forth between the two of them... cause and effect? It doesn't seem like it.. at least not like I usually think about causality... but there is definitely an interaction between these two... some kind of interconnectedness with God's heart and David's actions, choices, submission to His story... I wonder....

Bearing the Burden of the Consequences of My Choices

Today I am reading in 1st Samuel that Saul is angry that the priests have helped David so he orders one of his men to strike them down. Some of them refused but Doeg the Edomite followed orders and killed all of the priests of God for helping David... also killing everyone in the town of Nob... infants were included....

One man was able to escape and fled to David... and what does David say? "I am responsible for the deaths of your family." He knew that Doeg would go to Saul and tell on the priests and so he claims responsibility for the slaughter... unbelievable....

How does one see the hand of God and trust Him in such a way as to accept the burden of one's choices with all of the consequences?

Am I willing to bear the pain of others that my own choices cause?

Wondering about THE Story line....

This week I've been reading through 1st Samuel and can't help but wonder about some things... God clearly wanted to rule over His people, but they begged for a king... how that must have hurt Him to be rejected by them, but He provided a king for them anyway... it goes on later to say He regretted making Saul king over Israel... I wonder how that works... God who doesn't change His mind does seem to have regrets....

Seems like He keeps giving despite His own personal pain.

I'm in the part of the story now where Saul is being tormented by an evil spirit sent by God... and David has been given the Spirit of God... and watching the story unfold with these dynamics is puzzling... the most I can seem to glean at this point is that God is telling a story and He has something to reveal about who He is (despite our responses to Him) and so He orchestrates things with fallen people to achieve His purposes....

Makes me wonder what He is up to... what is it He is trying to say about Himself and what is my role in His ongoing tale?

I wonder how I might live to bring Him less pain... or better yet some joy?