How Deep Does the Rabbit Hole Go?

Hmmm.... How do I frame this mornings "meanderings" in my mind... I feel like I should start with a confession... my family is a mess... my home is neglected... my relationships here are shallow and mostly empty of meaning... what have I done to contribute to this? Nothing... really, I mean that nothing... I come home from work and the subtle demand it that I've had a rough day... true but still no excuse for not being "present"... what am I "giving up" for Lent... that question bothers me a bit... it really isn't about what I need to give up so much as what I need to engage in... I guess I'd say I'm giving up my demand for a break and instead... looking for ways to engage. Many nights I find each of my family members "engaged" in one form of electronic media or another... sadly we have enough options at our house that all five of us can be doing something separately (TV, gaming, computers)... I think we are pretty good at having meals together, most nights... (so I can compare myself to others and feel proud of that) but I look around at our "family life" and I wonder at the depth of relationship that we might know... wonder what we're missing... I'm guilty of being "too tired" to ask that question... or other questions from each of them....

Pray for me.