The Discipline of Choice

Usually not a word I like. I don't exercise often... when I do I find I like the feelings, the results I see... it is a good thing on many levels. I usually don't like the effort involved and so more often than not I avoid it....

I'm reading Henri Nouwen's Beloved and he is saying things like inner discipline, the discipline of relationships, the discipline of community. He is emphasizing choice. That I have a choice about how I spend my energy and what I believe to be true about myself... that I am the beloved. He calls the spiritual battle of choosing to be the beloved (against all around us that denies this) the big, big battle we are engaged in. 

I am wondering about how I spend my time/energy and if it is fueling me for the battle of choice or robbing me of the truth that I am beloved...?